When I first stepped into an administrative role, I thought I had to have all the answers and couldn’t be wrong. “I’m in this position and I can’t fail,” I told myself. I truly believed that, to be an effective and strong leader, I wasn’t allowed to fail. Boy, was I wrong! During my first year in the role, I experienced failures in ways I hadn’t even considered possible. Learning from failure wasn’t easy! Over time, I’ve come to realize that those failures were crucial to my development as a leader. Here’s an example of one of those failures.
Learning From Failure: Example
Over the course of the first few weeks in my new role as a High School Dean of Students (similar to an Assistant Principal), my voicemail, email, and text messages started to get overwhelming. Staff and parents alike contacted me at all hours of the day. I was swamped, but didn’t own my part in the predicament. I wasn’t willing to admit that what I was doing wasn’t working and that I needed to make some changes.
Of course, this was when two parents came up to school because they were upset that I hadn’t gotten back to them. They were concerned about their son’s grades and couldn’t wait any longer. I started on the defensive, telling them I had been extremely busy and had planned on reaching out to them. We continued to talk about how to help their child, but I don’t think either side felt good when we left the meeting.
That interaction, and others like it, pushed me to reflect about the leader I wanted to be and be honest about the leader I was. I realized I needed to own my actions, failures and successes alike. This helped me appreciate the idea of being a life-long learner and embrace the belief that I would never be perfect. In particular, it worked to teach me lessons about the power of an apology and the importance of humility.
Learning From Failure Lessons
The Power of an Apology
A few weeks later, I had another meeting with those parents and apologized for my lapses in communication as well as for how I reacted. I committed to being more responsive with my communication and took ownership over my actions. The change in the atmosphere of the room was palpable. They were grateful about the apology and willing to move forward. At the end of the day, they didn’t care about the fact that I screwed up as much as making sure their child was getting the help he needed.
The Importance of Humility
It’s normal to be uncomfortable after failure, but the last thing anybody should do is run away from it. Unfortunately, it’s common for leaders to fear others’ perception of their incompetence, which leads them to avoid actions that might demonstrate their lack of knowledge. It’s important to embody humility, in believing that there’s always something you don’t know and can learn. It’s ok if you don’t have the answers, so long as you are willing to reach out to get the help you need.
So long as you’re willing to grow and develop, it doesn’t matter how many failures you’ve had in life. Failures are a way to discover lessons you have yet to learn.
