Build a Positive Future Through Intentional Self-Reflection

After recovering from a major career setback, you might suffer from emotional “aftershocks.” An aftershock is usually used to describe small earthquakes that occur in a region that just experienced a major earthquake. Sometimes, aftershocks can cause more damage than the initial earthquake. The same applies to the emotional aftershocks you might experience after a traumatic event, such as a major career setback. You might be tempted to push back or even hide from these aftershocks. Instead, I urge you to build a positive future for yourself by focusing on intentional self-reflection. 

Start With Self-Awareness

When it comes to personal growth and development, self-reflection and self-awareness are critical components. Regular self-reflection can help us gain a greater sense of self-awareness, which most of us are in dire need of. It’s easy to assume that we are self-aware (95% of people think they are), but research shows that only a small percentage of individuals truly are (10-15%). This lack of self-awareness can hinder personal and professional growth, leading to a failure to reflect on one’s strengths and weaknesses.

Self-awareness is defined as “the ability to accurately perceive one’s emotions, behaviors, and personality.” It also encompasses the ability to recognize how these aspects influence others. In other words, self-aware people are able to see their own behavior from an objective perspective instead of just reacting emotionally.

Signs You Are Not Self-Aware

To establish a positive foundation for building your future, it’s essential to take the time to self-reflect and think about who you are, where you come from, and what your goals are. 

Failing to do so can lead to negative outcomes, such as:

1. Never admitting mistakes: You’re not the type of person to apologize, because nothing is ever really your fault. You might use humor and sarcasm to deflect criticism or questions about yourself.
2. Criticizing others: Since nothing is your fault, it has to be somebody else’s fault. In the midst of a crisis, some people may try to avoid feelings of guilt by shifting the blame to someone else. 
3. Avoiding hard decisions: When you’re not self-aware, you don’t have a clear sense of self. So, when faced with a decision, you might avoid it by doing nothing. If you can’t define who you are, then how can you make meaningful choices?
4. Being vague about feelings: It might be too difficult to express your true feelings because you’re not confident in the validity of those feelings. If you don’t know whether or not you should feel an emotion, it can be difficult to express that emotion. 
5. Worrying about the future: A lack of self-awareness can make you feel like a spectator, watching life happen while you wait for it to pass. And when you’re stuck in this mindset, it’s hard to have any control over your life.
6. Ruminating on the past: You might be afraid of self-reflecting because of what you might be afraid of admitting to yourself. You might start wondering “what if…” or “if only I…” among many other thoughts. 

Build a Positive Future By Establishing a Strong Foundation

People who are self-reflective are more likely to be successful in their careers, relationships, and lives. But it can be difficult to be self-reflective — especially if we’re not used to doing so.

While self-reflection can be daunting, it’s necessary for personal growth. One effective method is to acknowledge your accomplishments and strengths. Unfortunately, dwelling on our mistakes and faults can be much easier for us to do than thinking about the good we’ve accomplished in our lives.

In fact, research has shown that people tend to overestimate their negative qualities and underestimate their positive ones — a phenomenon known as the “bias blind spot.” This tendency can make it challenging for us to see ourselves realistically and maintain self-esteem.

The idea behind self-reflection isn’t new; philosophers like Aristotle have been encouraging people to think critically about themselves for centuries. But in recent years there has been an explosion of psychological research on self-awareness and its effects on personal growth. This research has provided new insights into how we can improve our self-knowledge so that we don’t fall victim to the bias blind spot when evaluating ourselves.

Build a Positive Future With An Intentional Approach

One way to combat this bias is to start a log of your accomplishments and strengths. Start with major life events and accomplishments, but don’t stop there. You might write down instances where you showed compassion or empathy towards others. You could also list times when you stood up for your values or beliefs, or accomplished something challenging. By taking the time to reflect on these positive moments, you can remind yourself that you’re more than just your mistakes and weaknesses.

For those of you who might benefit from specific guidance, follow these steps:

1. Write down at least one accomplishment per year for the last ten years.
2. Write down one accomplishment per month for the past year.
3. Write down one accomplishment per week for the past month.
4. Write down one accomplishment per day for the past week.

This exercise will help you see yourself in a positive light, recognize how far you’ve come, and understand how much you’ve accomplished over time. This log can serve as a visible counterargument you can use whenever you have negative thoughts about yourself. 

You Are More Powerful Than You Know

All of us are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for. No matter what you’ve done or where you come from, you can build a positive future for yourself and those around you. And if your life seems bleak right now, remember that it doesn’t have to stay that way forever. If you want to make a meaningful change, I hope you’ll start by recognizing the power that already rests within you. And no matter what happens after that, keep moving forward. You’ll be surprised at how far you’ll go when you set your sights on something real and hold yourself accountable to it.

Time to Commit

1. How can intentional self-reflection lead to personal growth and development? 
2. Why is it important to establish a strong foundation for building a positive future?
3. What are some practical steps individuals can take to maintain a realistic self-image? 
4. How can individuals use intentional self-reflection to remind themselves of their accomplishments and strengths?