Identifying and Addressing a Toxic Manager

Too many people have experienced a toxic manager at one point throughout their careers. I can speak from personal experience, that it sucks! Not only can a toxic manager make your life miserable, but they can decrease efficiency, productivity, and the overall bottom line. Nobody is immune from the effects of a toxic manager; it doesn’t matter what industry you’re in either. A toxic manager as the potential to derail everybody’s day, week, month, year, or even their life! Nobody would ever want to work for a toxic manager. And I’d argue that most people would never choose to be a toxic manager. Most people are probably blind to their level of toxicity; they don’t even realize they’re a toxic manager!

Does Somebody Know If They’re a Toxic Manager?

You don’t become a toxic manager by choosing to be a horrible person to your employees. You become a toxic manager by weighing a multitude of factors ahead of your employees. Here are some examples:

1. Irrational focus on the rules. Rules are important to the wellbeing of any organization, but only when they’re appropriately interpreted. When managers don’t take their employees’ unique circumstances into consideration, they’re just blindly pushing for compliance.
2. Irrational focus on results. All organizations need to have a steadfast focus on results so that everybody is moving in the same direction. But you can’t have this focus without considering how others might be affected.
3. Irrational focus on yourself. A great manager know they need to focus on their own development. The problem comes when all you think about is you: how things impact you, whether you look good, what you need to do next, etc.
4. Irrational focus on glory. It’s normal to want praise or recognition for the work you do, but there’s a line you must be clear not to cross. Once you start to focus more on the glory you might receive than the experience of the people working for you, that’s a problem.

Signs of a Toxic Manager

A few years ago, I was working with a client, let’s call her Cindy, who didn’t know what to do about their job. Cindy was starting to hate going into work every day, but it wasn’t because of the work she was doing. Cindy couldn’t stand her manager. Cindy thought it was her fault. She wondered what she did to get to the position she was in. After talking to her for a few sessions, it was clear to me that this manager embodied several elements of what it meant to be a toxic manager. Here’s how I helped Cindy recognize the signs of a toxic manager within her boss:

1. They take credit for other peoples’ work. They act like their world revolves around them, which also means they deserve all the credit, all the time. In their mind, the credit is only fair.
2. They don’t provide a predictable environment. Their employees don’t know what to expect on any given day. Are they going to get a boss who’s understanding or punitive? Who knows?
3. They don’t demonstrate value in others. They are the most important part of any workforce they are a part of. They can’t express value in others because they literally can’t see it.   
4. They assume the worst in others. While a toxic manager’s mistakes or flaws always has a good excuse, the same doesn’t go for those around them. They always think that people are out to get them or that their mistakes are the result of intentional acts rather than oversights or accidents.
5. They are fighting back a deep sense of insecurity. Many of their actions are derived from a deep sense of insecurity. They need to be right. They need to be the most important person at work, or else what does that say about them?

It was important for Cindy to learn about the signs of a toxic manager so that she could see them in her boss. Otherwise, she would continue to question her abilities and her future. At the same time, it wasn’t enough to have evidence that her boss was a toxic manager. She needed to know what to do about it.

Addressing a Toxic Manager: Values Alignment and Consistent Feedback

I have found there are two things that can help when working with a toxic manager.

Stay aligned to your values.

Staying true to your values is essential when navigating the choppy waters of a toxic managerial environment. Your values serve as your personal compass, providing the direction and strength to endure the storm. By keeping your values at the forefront, you’re able to maintain a sense of self amidst a challenging work scenario. Ask yourself: What’s important to you? Integrity? Kindness? Professional growth? Identify your core values and hold onto them. They will serve as your guiding light in a seemingly dark and disoriented atmosphere.

While this might not mitigate the manager’s toxicity, it will aid you in preserving your self-worth and professional demeanor. It can also help in decision-making moments – whether it’s about a project, a response to a manager’s request, or even a career move.

Provide consistent feedback.

The second tool in your arsenal against toxic managers is providing consistent feedback. Remember, as we discussed earlier, many toxic managers might not be aware of their harmful impact. They might not even recognize their behavior as toxic. It’s a delicate task, but it’s vital. Constructive feedback might be the wakeup call they need.

When providing feedback, be sure to approach the conversation professionally and assertively, emphasizing the impact of their actions on the team’s morale and productivity. Use concrete examples and stay focused on the behavior rather than the person. Of course, this needs to be done in a safe and appropriate context. If direct communication is not feasible or safe, consider speaking to HR or a trusted higher-up in the organization. Remember, your goal isn’t to confront or accuse, but to communicate and possibly catalyze change.

Final Thoughts

Navigating through a toxic managerial environment is, undoubtedly, a tough task. It can drain your energy, motivation, and even self-esteem. But remember, you’re not alone, and there are tools and strategies you can employ to stay resilient. Keeping aligned with your values and offering consistent feedback can create positive change, both for you and possibly even for the toxic manager.

Remember Cindy’s story. She started by identifying the problem, understanding the signs of a toxic manager, and then took steps to maintain her self-worth and professional identity in a challenging work environment. Cindy’s resilience is a testament to the power we all possess to withstand such adversities. It’s about standing up, not just for ourselves, but also for a more respectful and empathetic professional world.

In the end, the workplace should be an environment of mutual respect, growth, and teamwork. Let’s work together to eradicate toxicity and foster a culture that values every individual’s contribution.

Time to Commit

1. Reflect on your own experiences: Have you ever had to navigate a toxic managerial environment? If so, how did your values guide you through this challenging time?
2. If you were to encounter a toxic manager in the future, how would you approach giving them constructive feedback? What steps would you take to ensure the feedback is well-received and impactful?