While reading Malcom Gladwell’s book Blink1, I discovered that my gut feeling was more than just a random occurrence. It wasn’t the baseless sensation I thought it was. I bet you have probably said or thought one of the following: “she seems like a good person,” or “he gives me a bad vibe.” You might even consider yourself a good judge of character, without really knowing why. Those gut feelings are actually the product of a number of processes in your subconscious mind. Your mind has the ability to analyze seemingly innocuous pieces of data, such as a furrowed brow and pursed lips, and come up with your own interpretation about another person.
Your Gut Feeling and Micro-Expressions
At the same time, just as you can’t control the gut feeling you have about a person, you also can’t control all the messages your face sends (micro-expressions) to other people. As Gladwell mentions, micro-expressions are part of your involuntary expressive system which signal our authentic feelings.
They are fleeting facial expressions that represent how we really feel. These expressions happen so fast that it would take a slow motion camera or freeze frame to ever be able to consciously view them. Subconsciously, though, it’s a different story and it’s where we get our gut feelings from.
Gut Feeling and Micro-Expressions: An Example
For example, let’s say you are heading into a meeting with somebody you don’t like at all. Try as you might to steer the meeting in a positive direction, the meeting never stays on course. Afterwards, you might tell yourself that the other individual just wasn’t willing to work with you, when in reality, you may have been just as guilty.
Although you were saying and doing the right things, that may not have been what your face was telling them. Conversely, the other individual may have been thinking, “Something seems off about this person.” They don’t know why, but don’t have a good feeling about you.
Applicable Lessons
What does this all mean for you?
You have to be careful about trying to hide feelings or thoughts from others. Without ever meaning to, you could be relaying conflicting messages to those you interact with. Whenever possible, be direct and confront each situation head on. While you might think you are being successful in hiding your true feelings about another person, your face may betray you.
All this isn’t to say that you should always go with your gut feeling. Consider this feeling an alert that there is more you need to explore in a situation. There’s no guarantee that it will steer you in the right direction, but it will at least let you know there’s something to unpack. Where you’re thinking another person doesn’t like you, they may actually be processing an interaction with a different individual while engaging with you. Nothing’s every a sure thing.
1Gladwell, M. (2005). Blink. New York, NY: Hachette Book Group.
